In the restaurant industry, if you call out, it better be for a good reason. Here is a collection of our favorite excuses from our collective pasts in the biz, plus a few from Reddit.

1. “I woke up on a park bench.”

One former coworker partied just a bit too hard the night before a 7am brunch shift. Despite getting in a cab with the intention of going home to sleep, drunky pants exited the cab to make her way to a park bench to sleep it off.

2. “I sh*t myself.”

This one had to come in second because sometimes poop happens. This server didn't make it to the bathroom while stocking inventory. Needless to say, she got to go home early.

3. “I’m not coming in because I would rather go on a date with Josh Duggar than ever come back to that place.”

Another former co-worker. This one only lasted a few weeks as a server. The busy restaurant/bar just wasn't her cup of tea.

4. “I feel funny…”

One bartender had to leave an hour into her shift. The reason? She thought the bar was on fire. Unbeknownst to her, her roommate was storing LSD in a water bottle in the fridge that she took a swig from before her shift. Whoops!

5. “I’m in jail.”

We all have a funny story of doing something stupid while drunk. After a restaurant holiday party, a server tried to steal a cop car. Luckily, he got off on probation and only had to miss one shift.

6. When dreams aren’t reality

This one came from Reddit user erniball23, "I'm sorry I’m late. I overslept because I dreamed I was in work so I didn’t think I had to wake up." Somehow, this is actually believable.

7. Because poop...

Another entertaining excuse from Reddit user schwalter2: "Had a dishwasher stroll in three hours late. I was pissed and thought there was really nothing this guy could say to keep me from losing it. Turns out his pregnant wife was trying to take a deuce for hours and couldn’t take the pain of being so block[ed] up. After trying q-tips he went straight in with some fingers…"

8. Just can't stop

One Reddit user, Dthrep, had several amusing stories but this one took the cake, “I’m in a bad place right now and haven’t stopped drinking.” We feel ya buddy.

What’s your excuse? Tell us the best reason you’ve heard for calling out!